Orange Chiffonarific

Ever since I saw the movie "Because I said So" I can't stop thinking about CAKE! So, my birthday is a few days away... What a wonderful time to make an orange chiffon cake ;)

When it's done.. whether ugly or beautiful I'm posting a picture.

Wish me luck!

Chiffon... sounds like ribbons on my tongue

Wisdom Teeth Gone Wrong

Last Thursday I went to the dentist to get my wisdom teeth out. Of course I was nervous, that's normal.. They gave me laughing gas to relax me, and than put the IV in to sedate me. No more than 20 or so minutes after the sedation process I was being woken up and told that, "I had thrashed about, and ripped my IV out." The surgeon then continued to state that he got me a referral, and I needed to do it in a hospital, or by another method. My arm hurt a lot, it was beginning to bruise already. Now it is a display of green and brown patches around my vein and in the general area. That was the second time I tried to get surgery. This time around I'm putting more research in BEFORE going into the office.

Bad Mood

I am in such a bad mood right now. Jasper would not eat his dinner this evening, I tried to get him to eat multiple times. All he wanted to do was play, and than later sleep. Then around 2 in the morning he begins to CRY because he was hungry. I figured he won't stop unless he's fed. So, I fed him a little.. and than went to bring him outside to go to the bathroom, on the way there we had to go through our wreck room. At night we put the youngest kitten in there because she goes around the hallways crying, and he goes for their food and water.! Once I get him outside he pee's, but then he's running around and trying to play.! Knowing that he wasn't fed enough, I feed him more. I know it's a big mistake to feed your puppy in the middle of the night, but this is the first time I've done it since I got him about two weeks ago now. It's also the first time he hasn't eaten his dinner. I asked everyone in my family if he ate while I was at work, and eating dinner at my boyfriends house. They just said he might have, we don't know. Ughhh.. I'm just frustrated. It's not that I regret getting a dog, it's that I'm lacking sleep. When I lack sleep I get VERY tempermental. I'm also very easily stressed out. Also, when I actually brought him outside to pee he would pee, and than search for water residue from the rain.! And I would tell him "No!", and quickly pull him away. He's very fast when he wants something, but when he keeps drinking water, that means he's going to have to go to the bathroom AGAIN! Since 1 am he's peed about 2 or so times. It's only around 3. And he ran straight to the water when I just brought him to pee, seriously. It's hard to stop a dog when they are on a crazy mission. I don't NOT give him water, I gave him water when I fed him.! But of course he's been whining.. and running around trying to get away from me so he made himself thirsty, and is now SLEEPING. I haven't been able to get to bed yet, because I cannot sleep when I am aggravated. It's late. No one is up, so I have no one I can vent to. So I've decided I'll just vent on my blog. I need to get it out of me somehow, or else I will just break down from the frustration. And throw a crying.. hot faced fit. I'm not giving up though. There's no reason to, because I am doing the best I can. I wanted him, and now I've got him and I don't regret it. I'm just in a bad mood tonight, it happens. I'm sure it happens with new parents, and it happens with new puppy/kitten owners. Trust me, when I got my kitten (now almost 1 year old Elias) he drove me insane TOO! It's a rough time, because I'm getting used to him, and he's getting used to me. Now I think it's time to calm down, and get some sleep before I turn into "SHE-HULK" again.

Too Much Sex . . . and the City

Sometimes I have nights.. when I watch a billion episodes of Sex and the City. My cousin lent me the entire series, so it's quite hard not to run over, and pop the disc into my computer drive. But man - o - man does it make me think! That show, though some things are quite unrealistic to where life's at, has some good points. Like Carrie, she felt like the only person who wanted to be in a single, two people, man on woman relationship. I don't see anything wrong with wanting that. First of all, it's complicated.. but not to the point where you don't remember the guy from last night's name. That's just sloppy. But this is tricky stuff.. everyone has their own engine, and their own "special" gasoline to make it go. I don't know. I guess it just pissed me off that the episode revolved around three-somes, and than they turn out to be a failure! Well, here's an idea. Don't have one with someone you actually care about, because you'll end up getting JEALOUS. Yeah! Why do people think that they can experiment in that way, and NOT feel jealous...? Boggles me.

Sometimes I forget what I am doing where I am. But then all it takes is a little reminder, and I'm right back at home again.

WORRY WORT

Worrying is as natural to me as breathing. I wish it wasn't. I know it's normal to worry sometimes, but not all the time? I over analyze simple situations, dwell on things that won't happen for months and even years, and in doing all of that I drive myself insane!! If it were easy to avoid worrying I would, and I've been working on calming myself down but it is so difficult to remain at ease when there are so many things to think about that could effect me and my future.

Me, Myself, and I

We as humans are not coins punched out of metal, but individuals. And as individuals we lead our own lives. So many times I have battled with my inner self over what to be and what not to be, according to what everyone else thinks. Why? It bothers me that I've allowed myself to shrink to that standard. Yes I think as humans we should listen to others sometimes, but not all the time. That only makes our own voice smaller. I want my own voice to get louder. My reason for being is to have a voice that is my own and no one else's but my own. Just food for thought

SUN DROP!

I watched that new Sun Drop soda commercial and realized how much the girl reminds me of myself.. I am a white girl, with ginger hair, and I have the same offbeat personality. And, I'll prove it by showing the world! I just think it's really funny that I found my MATCH! haha drop it like it's hot! drop it like it's NOT

I actually want to make my own video.! But I just need someone who is good and editing and stuff.. because I am not good with that.! Not as good as.... dropping it... buhahaha Now I feel obligated to try sun drop, lol damn you commercial you make me want to quench it!

Magic Kiss

Take a magic kiss and toss it into the sea

Hope someday the waves will bring it back to me

Taking trips around to all the different places on a map.

Will it ever come by home again?

A magic kiss went over seas yesterday.

Didn’t even have the chance to say goodbye the right way.

I guess there is no good way on how to say goodbye

I hope my magic kiss doesn’t disappear. (evaporate into the sky)

Lock it in a box if that’s your only solution

A magic kiss can easily get lost.

So many people travel through the salty ocean.

Do not want something so precious getting erased…

The waters purify but they also have this secret talent.

Objects become invisible and impossible to find

So take that magic kiss and lock it in a box.

One with a golden lock as so to be secure.

It will find it’s home, I’m sure someday it’ll return.

And I hope my magic kiss will bring me all the memories.

All the lovely and the terrible, I do not mind all details.

As long as my magic kiss comes home.

Shatter

Rain, like glass can either shatter you, or help you glide

Like the tear’s upon her face, as he tried to say goodbye.

There is a friendship between rain and tears.

The sky is crying for us sometimes.

He died on a Tuesday, why not a Sunday, or a Monday

She cried for him each and every day, though he no longer could be saved.

Not out loud. There were no tears stinging her cheeks. They were within, somewhat of a secret.

Do you have a secret? Perhaps a vulnerable place that other’s are not allowed to see.

I have a vulnerable place. And you saw it, yesterday.

I think his comes out, when the moon is full. It’s only once in a while, but I feel it’s entirety glowing on my body, little gems, he makes me.

You’re vulnerability is beautiful, Do not fear it.

You're a gem, beautiful, cold, hard, and yet... fragile

It doesn't have to make sense. Poetry isn't science.

Who am i?

Don't you have days where you look in the mirror and say, "Who am I!?" And than you find yourself pacing around again, and again.. then you're making a phone call to someone. And they don't know either. So it's as if you wasted all this time only to find out that you're a human, you make mistakes, you have likes and dislikes, but you really haven't figured out your "purpose" yet.

Who are we? Who am I? Who is you? No one knows what is really the truth. People cannot get inside no not unless they’ve been there before. No one can get inside without that key to the door. Its locked for good, unless you have already been inside. Don’t try to weasel your way in because they won’t let you get by. So many people study it, this room locked away, don’t you wish we could transfer data through the locked door?

Sometimes I feel like there’s a piece missing, and other times I feel complete. What is this insatiable thirst that I’m constantly battling to quench? One day it’s colorful, and several more are gray. It’s as if I cannot win although I’ve tried every sort of way.